Thursday, August 5, 2010

Wrestling Tales

I heard a few wrestling tales while in high school although I didn't witness most of them. So, here's a few stories I hope entertain you a bit.

Brian Taylor was a senior when I was a freshman. He was a nice guy and very popular. He seemed to prefer a wrestling move called the "butcher" but that's not what this tale is about. I believe my older sister told me this story.

Evidently after practice one evening Brian was still over his weight limit and went home feeling a bit dejected. There was a meet or tournament the next day and Brian needed to make weight early the next morning. But, Brian was feeling down and since he was over his weight limit he said to himself, "to heck with it," and ate an entire pumpkin pie. He went in the next day to weigh in and expected to be way over but when he stepped on the scale, low and behold, he was right on weight. Did this really happen? I don't know. If so, perhaps eating an entire pie really revved up his metabolism. But, I wouldn't try it.

Another story involved the ritual of wrestlers shaking hands before a match. Well, one evening before a meet one of our wrestlers got the idea that it would be funny to have each wrestler hold out his left hand to shake instead of his right to throw the other team off. The wrestlers began doing this and got some funny looks from their opponents. The referee caught on to what was going on and told our guys to cut it out.

In the sport of wrestling there is a move known as a Japanese Whizzer. One evening a wrestler from our team had to wrestle an Asian/oriental opponent. Just before our guy stepped onto the mat to wrestle his match our coach said, "Watch out for the Japanese Whizzer." Our guy was laughing so hard when he stepped onto the mat that he could hardly wrestle.

Brad P. had to weigh in for a competition and weighed in with his pants on. Our coach asked Brad why he didn't step on the scale in his underwear. Brad said, "Well Coach, because I'm not wearing any underwear."

Randy was quite a ladies man. One evening while wrestling in a meet he and his opponent went out of bounds near the cheerleaders. Randy took the time to talk to the fine looking cheerleaders and said something simple like, "Hey ladies, how's it going?" He and his opponent returned to the center of the mat and the referee said, "The next time you stop and talk to the cheerleaders it's going to cost you a point, Romeo."

Another guy named Randy was worried about making weight one day. He had heard that if you stood on your head for a minute or so before stepping onto the scale that you would weigh less. So, he asked some guys to hold his legs while he stood on his head. He was naked at the time and before standing on his head he decided that it might be prudent to put on a pair of shorts so his manhood wasn't hanging out all over the place. I don't recall whether or not this little trick actually worked or not.

Well, that's about it for wrestling tales. I burned a hole in a blanket once by putting it over me and an electric heater in an attempt to sweat off some weight. My girlfriend got angry and jealous during my freshman year when I was approached before a meet by a few girls I knew from the opposing school. Nothing too exciting for me. I never got caught having sex with some hot babe in the wrestling room or with a cheerleader in the back of the bus on the way home from a competition or anything like that. Oh, well.

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